Confession Tuesday or Why My Life is One Long Lucy Episode...

Recently I was the fortunate recipient of a new phone at work. It is right on my desk, it is my own line, and it makes my life a little easier. So nice. So yesterday I was apparently away from my desk when I received a phone call. My caller left a voice mail message for me to retrieve. It was the first time that this had occurred.

Now, I am a fairly technologically savvy person. I am rather intuitive when it comes to electronics; however, I had a difficult time figuring out how to retrieve my message. I finally broke down and consulted with the directions that came with the phone. Our phone system is a grand and complicated thing which is customized for our school. I am sure most large schools are the same. Because of this tailoring, the directions were not of much use to me. Sigh.

I fiddled with the various buttons: the message button, the applications button, the options button…to no avail. So then I had this bright idea. Here at our school we have what is called “Homework Hotline” which is a space for recorded messages for the teacher to use to record the nightly homework. Parents can call the number and consult the teacher’s message and see what their student is required to do that evening. So…I think to myself, “Maybe I have to go through Homework Hotline to get to my voice mail…” So I choose the button on the phone that said “Hotline.” I press it and intensely listen. Nothing. No ringing, no message, just a click or two. Heavy sigh. So I hang up.

I try again. Different button, nothing, another button, nothing. Then the other phone rings. I work in a small office with another girl. Her phone is ringing, so she answers, “Hello, this is Nancy may I help you.” The phone is rather loud, so I can hear the caller who says, “Yes, this is 911 dispatch. We received a hang up call from this number and are calling to verify that everything is ok.” She looks at me, and can barely squeak out to the operator, “Yes…we are fine. It was an accident. I am sorry. Thank you.” Gasp, quickly place hand over mouth.

Now, the story is bad enough if I were to end it there. But of course, this is me…

So I get home yesterday afternoon, and I am working on dinner. The phone rings. It is my sister. My sister is a 911 dispatcher. She says to me, “Hey, I got a call today from your school. What was going on over there? Someone called and hung up. I called back, and they said that it was an accident. Was everything ok?” Loud guffaw, followed by roaring laughter.

Now, it took me several minutes to compose myself after her question. By the time I had stopped laughing and was breathing again, everyone in my house had gathered around to see what in the world was the matter with me. I finally croaked out to my sister that it was me, and I am a moron who cannot work a telephone. Catch breath between continued snickers.

The bad news is that I will probably get a “snitch award” at the end of the school year for doing something so ridiculously stupid. The good news? I apparently have a direct line to my sister anytime that I need it.