For confession today, I would like to discuss my dream "issues." Perhaps I should say my nightmare issues. Are you comfortable?
I was awake early this morning by a bad dream. I had to lay there for a few minutes to shake it before I could get up. I have these kinds of dreams frequently, maybe every six weeks or so. Some are worse than others, but I have them fairly often. This is very strange for me. Anyone who knows me understands that I am a person of faith, and a very optimistic, positive person. I am upbeat and happy-go-lucky. Of all the people in the world to have this kind of problem, you would not think that it would be me. But yet, I do.
Sometimes, like last night, it wasn't too horrible, and it does not stay with me. Other times, it's a dream that haunts me for several days afterwards and keeps me from sleeping. Most of them involve death, as you would imagine. Sometimes catastrophic, other times just one person or small groups of people, but always someone I know.
My self diagnosis? Well, it started many years ago when I lost my best friend in a car accident. We were both 20 years old, and I was expecting my oldest daughter, Joanna. I had never had any really bad dreams except maybe once or twice when I was a child. When I lost Anna, I started having anxiety about my other loved ones. I think that I was just worried. For someone who claims to have a lot of faith, I do worry WAY to much. It is something that I struggle to surrender to God. I like to do everything myself. Maybe it's an oldest child thing, part of my "birth disorder." I think that maybe the dreams are just a part of my worrying spilling over.
I guess that I just need to relax and pray more. That's what my father-in-law is always telling me. Just relax.
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2 comments:
I have always "over-thought" everything and analyzed things to the point of exhaustion. So, I also have vivid dreams. Occasionally they are bothersome, but mostly they are weird.
Maybe the Prayer of St. Francis would be a good one to say before you go to bed.
I actually mentioned this in a post, but I also have the most vivid dreams; I once had a dream I was writing a book and when I awoke I could actually remember some of the paragraphs. Then I recently had a dream I was dancing with George Burns...ick?
The dreams that are really scary always involve something bad happening to my husband or children...and Laura is right, the St. Francis prayer would help.
Luckily most of my dreams are more strange than scary.
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