Happy Birthday to the Bard

But alas mistresses and sirrahs, extraordinary is today.
Mine cousins, thou shalt observeth Talk Like Shakespeare Day.
For soothe, today is the 445th anniversary of his birth,
'Tis true I knowest, thou art a fawny, surly youngster of mirth.
I speaketh of an infinite deal of nothing, as well shouldest thee.
Wherefore thou shalt not be as a young fry of treachery,
Come, come, talk you greasily; let your lips flow with rhyme.
Showest me thine skill at verse, methinks ‘tis better than mine.
And if thou seekest not to attend to poetic matters writ here,
Then I foreswear thou shalt get thyself to a nunnery near!
Hey nonny, nonny!